Saturday, 13 May 2017

Ha, I ALMOST survived the 25-year primary school reunion, almost! On the plus side, without the General, I was able to go full retard and nobody thought it unusual, whereas on the minus, it was as bad as you might expect. It is difficult, difficult, to be in a room with so many normal people. Each of them as unmemorable as strangers you see all the time and dare not ask one single question from fear of sounding pretentious. ('So, do you write books?'...) It almost causes me anxiety, to be in such a situation. Not the bad kind, where I was subconsciously checking out fire exits and server entrances, hoping maybe they will let me clean the dishes, but the fun kind, where I go into ‘ship mode’ and start taking photographs of people on the ‘first formal’. MyMaja and Tomaž boxed me in so I couldn’t flee and we had great fun on our own, people occasionally joining us in conversation or one of them going out – including me – to try and get to know some of these individuals. But mostly it was as bad as you might expect. Those ‘most likely to succeed’ back in the day are now either running small businesses or some such money oriented mess that makes nobody happy, or they are desperate to talk about their kids. Amidst the few who are actually happy, I already knew most. Or at least I knew Simona, who is a singer and a poetry performer, her husband is cool and her kids are cool and they just moved up into the hills. I know her to be talented and level-headed. Some of our generation were already dead, but I gotsta say most of the men were attractive – tall and of good, strong features. The women were as women aged forty are. If I had told them I am thinking about my husband all the time not because I am pathetic but because a few hours earlier he had me and I can now not sit from physical pain, they would either find me rude, wrong or not believe me.
               G knows how to take my mind to remote islands. Tomaž said the same thing – I should rise above the anxious need to leave by applying zen and spiritual liberation from confinement o imposed situations – and I was thinking Tomaž, honey, my mind is five hours ago, when I thought I was going to explode, my chest hot Nutella expanding, drowning in a sea of black starlight, the heart pounding between my ears, insanity knocking. I had nowhere to run, he is too strong, I know I cried hysterically, worried I will die, going into an epileptic fit of the orgasm, then I passed out and woke up few hours later to shower and apply lotion. Why, yes, the Genereal is the kind of a man to cause butthurt one day before we scheduled 50km bike ride.
               Genius of him, really. I DO have more practice, but a) his bike is bigger, b) not all my fast gears work, c) I am too clumsy to dare go fast, d) he is a lot taller e) he is A LOT stronger and f) padded bike shorts are heaven-sent. I am not a ninja compared to him, I am only a ninja compared to myself :D
              We’re back now, just in time to have drinks at our café and to listen to someone play a violin in the street. At first it seemed like it was going to rain – so we had the road all to ourselves, really – but now it’s getting brighter. I COULD go on a longer walk with Starbark, who is loudly complaining (she had to stay at home), but I’m lazy, so I’m gonna take a nap and go to the movies with MyMaja laters.