Thursday, 17 March 2011

the Marriage thing

I'm thinking about marriage. How do you know you're ready? Well. Sometimes that's the only thing you DO know. Is the other person good for you? Do you feel never as comfortable and okay as when you put your head in their lap?  Are you gratefully shedding all your stupid convictions to grow into something that doesn't disappoint? Are they someone you can see yourself growing old with? Are they someone can't wait to see again and tell them how you've been? Someone that whatever you've done, holds no appeal anymore unless you can do it again with them? Then yes. They are perfect. And yourself? How do you know you are good enough for them? I think... the answer to that is fairly simple. All you have to do, when things will get less fun, is to try and make it better as oppose of taking any opportunity, any excuse, to run the other way. When the shitstorm hits, you need to be the one who will try to hold the umbrella. If you want the other to be always safe and happy, they you're perfect for them, too.
          The problem has increasingly been with the freedom of choice. Cause then you think you have the right to act any which way you see excellent. People reach maturity in a terrible trial and once you're all grown up and independent, it's not quite so easy to learn how to depend on someone all over again. If everyone married at 14, before we're adults, then the growing-up period would be one rough, intertwining period of sex and trying to understand the world. By the time we would be 22, we would already be just one person. But trying to couple at the age of 30, that's like pushing together two Lego's that just don't fit. So every time something goes wrong, you place blame and demand your rightful recognition. Like a child, you demand to be treated as a person, not as half of a person. That's a scary intuition. People believe they have a right to be super selfish (as oppose to the little bit sexy selfish) and that if it all doesn't go their way, they should just run. It certainly is a lot easier to abandon a burning ship as it is to try and save it.